Why Noon?
by saichanlovestoad
Summary: OneShot. Yaoi. Silent Bob's dislike of a habit of Jay's leads to a very fullfilling morning.


A/N- I don't own any of these characters. They belong to the marvelous director, Kevin Smith.

I dedicate this story to my sister, **Kira Kei Jinx.**

This takes place after Clerks II, although I doubt it matters. And as a side note, Jay isn't really blond. He has dirty blond hair that sometimes appears brown. However, I call him a blond just because... well... I can. And he looked kinda blondish in Clerks II. That's all. Enjoy. Love, Sai-Chan.

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This is ridiculous, he thought, as he leaned in the doorway of the bathroom. The blow dryer was on high and made it impossible to hear whatever it was his boyfriend was saying. He looked like he was interested anyways, because he never said a word, so it wouldn't have made a difference if he knew what he was babbling about or not. However, he wanted to at least give the impression that he could hear him, so he forced himself to look interested. But he couldn't hear him. That stupid dryer was going, like it was every morning. If it were up to him, he'd take the thing and chuck it out the window, just to try to speed this routine up by a little bit. 

Shaking his head, Silent Bob pushed himself off the wall and left the bathroom. Jay's voice got louder as he shouted 'where you going Lunchbox', the first thing he'd been able to make out since they'd gotten up an hour ago. He ignored the question and walked through their messy bedroom, littered with shirts and shoes, and stepped into the living room to wait out the primping fest going on in the other room.

Although he found it rather attractive that his beloved would stand in the middle of their bathroom butt naked, he found it annoying that he would spend that time fixing his hair. It was the one habit Silent Bob just didn't like about Jay. He'd known him since they were toddlers, he'd lived with him since they were sixteen, and he'd hated that habit of his since they'd met. It made him want to strangle the blond where he stood running his mouth and blow dryer at the same time with impressive skill.

Jay was obsessive-compulsive about getting ready in the morning. Or, rather, fixing his fluffy hair _just_ right and finding the right outfit to wear.

Silent Bob could understand if they were going somewhere important or if Jay was like that about everything. Even he was just a freak about his appearance all the time. The problem was, he wasn't. His hair was a disaster within twenty minutes of them leaving the apartment due to his insane dancing and running around like the idiot he truly was. His clothes were often ruined by prat falls to the ground or stripped off as he danced naked outside stores or mooned random people. To top it all off, he wasn't even doing these antics at an important area. They were outside the Quick Stop convenience store. The Quick Stop, for crying out loud! The only people there were Randal and Dante, who didn't even notice what the two were doing unless Jay was thirsty and they went inside for a soda.

Yet, every morning, without fail, Jay would spend forever in the bathroom getting ready. He'd take a long shower, blow dry his hair until it was completely dry, comb it, style it, then go and search for the exact outfit he wanted to wear that day. Then he'd make sure everything looked right and finally, he'd put on his boots and announce that he was hungry for breakfast. The process took over an hour, sometimes two, depending on how bad his bed head was when he dragged his skinny butt into the bathroom in the first place. Not only was the process unnecessary, but it took a whole lot of time Silent Bob really didn't want to spend listening to that blow dryer.

However, he couldn't convince Jay to stop it. Jay complained that he felt weird when he missed his routine and then he'd whine all day about being off. He claimed that he needed the shower to wake up, the hair primping because he had so much hair, and the clothing thing to make him feel good about his appearance. So, to shut his lover up, Silent Bob let the process continue, despite his opposition.

Opposition it surely had become over the years. Beforehand, he'd just wait it out in the bathroom, watching Jay's naked body move as he adjusted his hair. Lately, though, he just walked off and sulked in the living room, hoping the lack of an audience would encourage his beloved to speed it up. Surprisingly, it didn't. Jay didn't really seem to mind, which only made Silent Bob more frustrated with the whole thing. If he was going to be in a bad mood over something trivial, he wanted Jay to be upset over it. Not spend an extra ten minutes picking out boxers.

Therefore, when Silent Bob left the bathroom that morning and stood in the living room, he tried to think of the perfect way to lure his baby out of the bedroom. He knew if he could get Jay out of the bedroom, the fest would be over.

That's when it hit him. He snapped his fingers, wanting to kick himself for taking so long to figure out what it was he needed to do. He hurried into the kitchen and searched for something to make in the tiny pantry their apartment stocked. He found a box of muffin mix, the apple cinnamon kind, and was pleased to read that it didn't go bad for another week. Taking that as a sign, he started to make the food, being sure to bang a couple things around so that Jay could hear him when the blow dryer cut. He heard shuffling coming his way and then a blond head poked out of the bedroom.

" Yo, Lunchbox, the fuck yous doin' in here?" Jay questioned, his eyes quickly scanning over the mixing bowl and the oven temperature on, " Yous cookin' breakfast or somethin'? What the fuck you makin'?" Silent Bob held up the muffin box, jabbing at the words apple cinnamon, " Shit, I didn't know we still had fuckin' muffins! I'll be out in a few minutes, so don't be a muthafucker and eat them all,"

Jay disappeared from view as Silent Bob cheered; silently, of course. There was a lot of banging around in their bedroom as the timer ticked away. He heard swear words galore, something was thrown out of the room, and there was a loud crash. The timer went off and he pulled the tray of fluffy golden brown muffins out. He heard louder swearing, but he ignored it and just buttered one of the muffins.

" DON'T YOUS FUCKIN' EAT ALL THOSE MUFFINS, BOB! I WANT SOME TOO, SHIT, MAN!!!" came the loud holler of his boyfriend. He rolled his eyes and headed back into the bedroom. He arched an eyebrow at the destruction caused by the frantic, and hungry, Jay, then just slowly approached the bed where said Jay was busy tying his shoelaces, " I said I was comin', didn't I, Lunchbox?"

Silent Bob held out the muffin, gesturing to it. Jay looked at him, stopping what he was doing to tilt his head up, then smiled broadly, understanding what he was saying. The muffin was for him. Jay went to take it, but Silent Bob drew back instinctively. He got a kick in the shin, a light one, and suddenly knew what it was he wanted to do, even if it was only revenge for all the days he'd had to listen to that infernal blow dryer. He motioned to Jay, telling him to open his mouth. For a moment, his boyfriend resisted. One more look at that prized baked good, though, and he caved, opening his mouth. Silent Bob broke off a piece of the muffin and slipped it into his boyfriend's mouth. Jay savored the flavor, as he did so love the taste of apple cinnamon, and then automatically opened his mouth for another piece. Playfully, Silent Bob gave him piece after piece until there was no more. Then he waved his empty hand in the other's face, expecting to get an angry reaction and be told to get more to continue this new morning routine.

Instead, Jay grabbed hold of his wrist and pulled his hand over. He licked his thumb, his wet tongue making Silent Bob shudder. Jay pushed his index and middle fingers inside next, sucking on them professionally, before easing them out and chewing on the skin between the thumb and index a little before running his tongue over the knuckles and licking at the ring finger. He sucked on the end, biting down gently, then rougher, and running his teeth over the sensitive skin. Reaching the end of that finger, he sucked on the pinkie, his eyes finally glancing up at his boyfriend as though asking him if it was all okay. Then he turned his gaze to the outstretched wrist, which he proceeded to kiss and lick tenderly, one hand pushing the trench coat up and the other holding onto the sticky hand tightly so he wouldn't pull back.

Heat washed over Silent Bob, although he was unsure if what turned him on was the feeling of his lover's tongue caressing his bare skin or simply watching said boyfriend sexually engage his arm in intercourse. Either way, fire consumed his as he felt teeth on his arm, pulling at his skin innocently. Only his beloved could play the part of a seductive whore at the same time he acted like a first time virgin trying to please his lover. The motions were that of a pro, but the expression was virgin entirely. The combination was overwhelming.

Jay moved and his silky hair fell across his face as he traced a line up Silent Bob's arm with his finger, then his mouth. Overtaken by love and lust, Silent Bob pushed Jay onto the bed and kissed him hard on the mouth. Their tongues danced over the others', hands holding onto the others' as they sprawled over their sheets and kissed. Silent Bob bit gently on the younger's lower lip, informing him that he wanted this blond's body in all the ways possible. Jay came up for air, gasping, and moving around under his boyfriend's body.

" But, I just got ready. Can't I just suck yous off?" he asked as Silent Bob switched from his mouth to his neck and kissed it roughly, " I don't wanna fuckin' have to get-"

Silent Bob jerked Jay off the bed, spun him around, and slammed him back onto the mattress. He undid the younger's pants, inching them down so that Jay's oh so sweet ass was revealed. He heard a laugh as Jay pulled his hair over his shoulder, getting out of the way. Silent Bob pushed up the double shirts his lover was wearing and ran his hands over the bare skin, feeling the warmth and shuddering coming from him. He squeezed the other's sides, got a smack, and lowered his mouth.

He laid a kiss on the bare skin of his boyfriend's back, tender and barely there. He heard a gasp, felt a quiver, and smiled as he repeated the action over and over again. Once satisfied, he licked that flesh and saw Jay's hands grip at the sheets. That action made heat once more wash over him and grow between his legs. Running a finger down the other's spine, he undid his own jeans and wriggled out of them. He slicked his erect cock with spit, not wanting to leave his lover to search for the lubricant in their drawers.

A moan, so soft and delicious, escaped Jay's mouth as Silent Bob pushed himself inside his boyfriend's entrance. The older's hands grabbed at the younger's hips and squeezed tight as he eased himself back out, before shoving himself roughly back in. Groans began to rise up as the rhythm sped up and they rocked together, desperate to make it hurt more then it had to. Jay clawed at the sheets, his face pushing hard against the bed, screaming beginning to leave his throat. Sweat danced over his body, his shirts sticking to him, as he closed his eyes and shouted for him to go faster, harder, deeper. Silent Bob pumped to the commands, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of his lover's hips, jerking them upwards for a sharper angle.

Jay howled, his groaning changing into clear cut shrieks when Silent Bob struck a certain spot inside him. His eyes rolled back in his skull, his hands grabbing straight mattress. Silent Bob thrust hard at that angle, growing harder as he felt his lover convulse as he hit that spot. He hit it again, again, again, again, and watched as Jay shook violently and roared with pleasure like only someone with his voice could. The sound bounced off the walls, wrapping them in an everlasting scream of joy, a scream for more of this so perfect agony.

Silent Bob pumped harder, Jay's back arching and his blond hair spilling back over his shoulder. The older reached out and grasped that hair and jerked back. Jay cried out, his head pulling back. Silent Bob held fast, ignoring Jay's screaming, and picked the rhythm up again, his lover struggling to get his locks free. Then he struck that spot again and Jay was lost in the moment, his body going limp, eyes rolling backwards.

The orgasm fell over them like a dam bursting. Silent Bob came inside Jay, his own body shaking violently as he released the hair and let his boyfriend fall back on the bed. He rode the orgasm, soundless but screaming, until it was over and he slowly drew out of that beautiful ass. He collapsed on the bed next to Jay, who was grinning madly as he heaved himself fully onto the bed. They laid there next to each other for a while, breathing deep, absorbing the warmth that surrounded them. Then Jay rolled over and into Silent Bob's outstretched arms. They drew close to each other, locking the other in a deep kiss that let their tongues run over the other's and explore the mouth of their beloved. Jay bit down on Silent Bob's lower lip, pulled, and then teasingly licked his neck.

" Yous wrecked my clothes, Lunchbox," he cooed out, drawing himself up and leaning over his boyfriend. Blond hair fell around them, draping them in their own world, one that smelled faintly of apples, " That was fuckin' inconsiderate of you,"

Silent Bob kissed him once more, wrapping his fingers in that silky soft hair, forcing Jay's head back as they kissed. He controlled the blond and he loved it, running his tongue over his lover's lips. He felt a smile form on the other and felt hands reach down and grip him between the legs. He gasped a little and found himself looking into seductive eyes. Sensing where this was leading, he lowered one hand to his lover's erection and squeezed tightly. Jay winced, before pushing his hair back as best he could, lowering his head.

Jay licked the tip of Silent Bob's cock, slowly on purpose. Gasps rocked the older's body, his grip tightening more on the erection he was holding. Jay moaned over the head and that brought heat of a new intensity over his boyfriend. Then Jay wrapped his hand around his boyfriend's most intimate place, squeezed, and eased it into his mouth. He licked and sucked, playfully at first, then harder and rougher. In reaction, Silent Bob gripped Jay's cock hard, moaning out, his eyes rolling back. He rubbed his hand up and down the younger's erection as he received heavy head, tongue and teeth running along his penis in a way that only the blond could manage.

He squeezed hard and felt Jay's breath rush along his erection. That was enough to bring him alone, the sound of a moan coupled with such an exaggerated feeling of said sound. That overwhelmed him, made his shudder inside the mouth of his lover and rub even faster. Jay sucked harder, his own grip beginning to grow tight as he felt heat building up between his legs.

They both new it was coming on fast and sucked and rubbed rougher then before, thus bringing the other at the same time. Silent Bob came in Jay's mouth and Jay came on his hand and they both convulsed in pleasure. Breathing in shallow breaths, Jay eased his lover out of his mouth, wiping his lips of the cum. Silent Bob let go of both his hair and cock, running his hand clean on the sheets, before pulling Jay up in a kiss. They both ran tongue over the others, trading spit, as they fell onto the sheets and wrapped their bodies over the other's. Jay's hands ran up and down his boyfriend's body, as playful as ever, whereas Silent Bob kept his hands securely cupped over his lover's sweet ass.

They kissed as though they needed it to breathe, eyes closed and bodies taking in every second of their lip lock. Then Jay licked Silent Bob's lips, pulling away to curl up in the arms of his lover. Silent Bob allowed him, running fingers through the tangled locks of his boyfriend's long hair. In a moment or two, he felt Jay growing heavier, his body relaxing as sleep fell over him. Rolling his eyes, the older sat up, knocking the other onto the sheets. He laid there, looking lazily over at Silent Bob as he got to his feet.

" Come on, Bob. Let's just fuckin' chill," Jay said, stretching out over the sheets and tilting his head to one side. Silent Bob shook his head, patting his leg to encourage him to heave himself off the bed, " No, mutherfucker. I'm gonna fuckin' lay here,"

Silent Bob ignored him and quickly changed clothes. Jay watched him, looking slightly amused at the show, but mostly just drunk on satisfaction. Then the older tossed a change of pants at his boyfriend and headed for the door. Two eyes watched him, so he turned back around. Jay puckered his lips, then broke out in laughter and hugged the pants to him as though they were a precious gift from his one and only. Although Silent Bob found the action precious, he still wanted to control the situation. He wanted his boyfriend to obey him, as he had when the muffins had convinced Jay to abandon his usual routine to get dressed in a hurry.

" I'm taking the rest of the muffins to the Quick Stop," was all he said as he left the steamy room and headed into the living room. Scrambling could he heard from the bedroom as he wrapped the muffins and went to the front door. Just as he walked out, Jay came hurrying out after him, slamming the door.

" Get the fuck back here, Lunchbox! That's my fuckin' breakfast!" he exclaimed, rushing over to him and snatching the muffins out of his hands. Silent Bob slipped an arm around his boyfriend's waist, letting Jay believe he'd won this war so that he may draw his lover close, " Yous want one?" the younger asked, mouth full, as the held up one of the muffins. Silent Bob took it and ate it, leading them down the path they took everyday to the same store they'd been hanging out in front of all their lives.

The two reached it in a few moments, just long enough for Jay to cram the rest of the food in his mouth and eat them all. Feeling bad for eating all their breakfast, he pulled Silent Bob into a deep throated kiss, which tasted like apple cinnamon cum. The taste made the older hot and he jerked Jay's skinny body closer, a hand gripping his sweet ass as tightly as he could. Their tongues tasted every inch of the other's mouth, teeth biting down on lips and tongue both. Jay's wandering hands found Silent Bob's bare skin, inching up his shirt and sliding teasingly innocent fingers along the flesh. The older's free hand wrapped in blond hair and jerked Jay's head backwards, forcing their bodies even closer to keep the kiss going. They found the other hard and ready and both smiled as they kissed as passionately as they could without having sex at the same time.

When they slowly drew away, breathing deeply from a kiss almost sexual itself, Jay smiled a sly foxy smile. Silent Bob ran his fingers down the length of his lover's back, arching it if only to feel his boyfriend pressed against him. They chastely kissed a couple million times, before the older let go of the younger. Together, they stepped into the Quick Stop and headed over to the counter to buy smokes.

" Snoochie boochie, clerks," Jay greeted Dante and Randal, both who basically ignored him. Silent Bob took the pack when Dante rang him up. Without another word, the two headed back outside to assume their usual antics.

" You know, those two stoners only show up here around noon nowadays. You notice that, Randal?" Dante muttered, glancing over at where the two were lighting up outside. His friend shrugged, flipping through a porno magazine, " I wonder why that is,"


End file.
